Fallen promises

Everyone keeps on telling,

saying it over and over, again and again,

and I am finally convinced,

It was never meant to be...

Love is a bitch...babe,

you made so many promises,

I always knew, you couldn't ,

but I was looking for a bright side...

Dusk has set upon

the magic you and I were,

oh no no,

I don't regret it anymore,

It's a lesson I have learned,

and I won't cry like always,

and I am gonna forget,

that you and I were ever ever ever together...

Natasha

My Story...

                      Nothing in this world fits in. You have to make room for yourself and make it large. You have visions, dreams, everything you wanted right in front of your coming years. All that counts. Yes, it does. At least, you yearn for them; dream big and you want them right from the moment you have contemplated big. But, you never know what might happen, in those coming years and yes why would you ever in this earth think that everything about you will change? Even the dreams, you dreamt gets distorted, gets warped in space-time continuum. You create a worm hole for yourself, where everything in you gets sucked in, like a big fat truth. Yes it does. You lose sight of yourself, what you exactly are, and the one whom you thought to be your own lyrical world, like a beautiful butterfly swinging its wings in this non-linear, non-solvable world would ever turn you down; and never in your slightest dreams, you ever surmised amongst all those thoughts you surmised, would run away slowly at the sight of “togetherness” and thus all the way deep down in your own thoughts would get tangled up and become the string theory problem.

“….and I don’t want you to feel sorry for me,

You never gave us a chance to be…”

I don’t know what I was thinking about, but still, these are the fragments of an afterthought of an event you never in reality you wanted it to happen.  But it happened still…shit! An event! I would rather say a string of events where you and your same past happenings bang you right at your face. How on earth did I ever know that I would end up like this shit?

“…just wanted you to tell me the truth,

You know I’d do that for you,

So why are you running away…”

There’s this sarcasm in my story, I never imagined. I thought I would be happy when she would say we won’t be together after these IISER years. I thought I would be. But smack that again at my face. Seriously smack that! She blurted it out loud. Quite clearly, I was supposed to be happy but you see nature loves irony and here I am writing it out loud as she said it out loud. Every single word that she blurted out still rings in my ears every night I go to sleep. And then all those strings of imaginations gets entangled in my own non-linear networks of nerves which again theoretically has no solutions; quite right it is you see, I seriously don’t have a solution. But I was supposed to be happy. That should be the story, isn’t it? Where did I go wrong? How come she is running away? How come I got degraded from everything in this place to a speck of just a vile support? And so she just wants to let it be, let it be what it is. So look there I am a vile support.

“….I was the one who was lifting you up..

When you thought you had enough,

And when I get close, you turn away,

There’s nothing that I can do or say..”

 Look, I am not at all complaining; you are getting me wrong. I am letting it be, but I am left wondering “what the fuck happened.”  Why is she running away? Why everything about her is changing and why the fuck my heart thumps otherwise whenever she says “there’s no point talking about this?” It should beat not thump for god’s sake!

All these afterthoughts, infact every afterthought after every thought i contemplate, gets inked deep down inside. Network theorist would say, you never have a solution for a complicated non-linear equation. All you have are the nullclines pointing towards a probable solution. But look, what i have out here. I too have a solution, but you see, again, all my solutions are nothing but my own prejudices that i hold in these cases and there you go, i still don't have a perfect beautiful solution; all i have is what i surmise, is a series of nullclines, pointing to a most equilibrium solution which again are many....

I don't know what i am writing and yes there’s no point writing about this. For God’s sake, I know when I am writing this I sound pathetic.

You all know who can write this piece of shit and if you have guessed it right, then I deserve the last line I wrote...

Thank you!

The Real Love

It has been more than heaven of a week since he started behaving quite oddly with me. It was not the real him. I was worried, not about falling out of love with him, but worried if someone has found out. But still I was possessed by this dirty thought, is he trying to leave me for good?

We only meet on weekends. Both of us live a hectic life and quite well away from each other. We manage to find a day or two to cuddle up together somewhere in a hotel, but that happens rarely; two times in a month I guess. It has been long nine months since we started out. I quite well remember the day we met. I was sneaking up in the bathroom of a shopping mall trying to vomit out the vodka that was swirling and causing a wave of tornado in my stomach, when I saw him. Well, I fell in love instantaneously. Nine seconds they say, yes just nine seconds!

I was getting frustrated by his frequent hanging up, being busy line that he always thwarts out from his mouth. Frankly speaking, I was getting desperate now and quite curious and cynical. Well, shit happens, and if it happens to him, what will I do?

I decided to leave immediately. It was 10:45 PM on my watch. I thought for a while…shall I go? It can be a surprise though, he loves surprises…Yes… he does love surprises..

So I rolled out with my car. It was raining, and I dropped by a shop to buy some flowers. I smiled,  I can’t wait to meet him…a hour and a half to his doorway.

It was 12:15 AM by my watch when I arrived at his doorstep. I knocked. No one answered. I knocked again. After a minute or so, the door happened and yes, just as I guessed....Shit happens….

 And indeed, shit happened…..

I didn’t say anything, and I barged into the house. The girl followed me behind.

‘hey, well, can I help you,’ she said and I ignored.

‘well, wait up, what do you need? Whom do you want?’ she held my hand.

I stared at her, took a deep breath and said, ‘Where is he?’

‘He is in the bathroom,’

‘Call him,’

She looked at me for a while, and then went inside. My heart was thumping as though I just survived a freakishly closed accident. How did this happen?

After a minute or so, he came. He saw me. He gaped. He stared.

‘What’s this?’ I asked, furious, pointing at her.

 The girl was startled, amazed and was totally blank.

‘I can explain,’ he came up with.

‘So that’s why you were not receiving my calls so that you can fuck her right here, and kick me out of your life, huh?’ I yelled.

‘Excuse me, what’s going on here?’ she poked him.

‘You stay out of this bitch,’ I yelled at her, ‘tell me? We are together…. you love me okay…this was the same bed where we once slept together, you forgot all that?tell me,’

There was a moment of silence.

‘Okay, I mean,’ she fumbled, ‘you two are… well, gay?’

We both stared at her.

‘HOLY SHIT,’ she gaped at us, fear and shock was visible in her eyes.

‘You bastard,’ she yelled at him, took her bag and stormed outside.

The door banged and she was out of sight.

-The Viento

One Battle at a Time

I'm ready to fight,
in the war of life.
To find freedom and glory,
through struggle and strife.

I'm ready to sacrifice,
everything for that dream.
To churn my fate,
till I make butter out of cream.

But to give my all,
to that one fight,
all I ask from this world,
in the form of this rhyme-
Allow me to fight,
one battle at a time,
only one battle at a time.

-TheDreamer

NO CHOICE BUT TO DO GOOD

Saw The Amazing Spiderman today. I had loved the 3 old Spidey movies and yet, I feel that this reboot of the franchise is a league apart from the older version and lives up to its title by truly being amazing. Beautiful cinematography and a realistic story-line take away the show, not to mention, a bolder, younger and more energetic Peter Parker who has the guts to tell his girlfriend how he spends his free time. Not like the old Spidey who took 2 complete movies to do that. The experience of the movie was only enhanced by the fact that I had for company, my class 10th buddys from Bangalore - Akash Pise and Shweta Kumari. I also got a chance to make two new friends in Manwinder Singh and Abhishek Saini. Thanks guys (and gal), for an enjoyable evening!

The movie is definitely worth a watch and all the more so if you watch it in 3D in a theatre. The film's storyline does depart from the older versions of the Spidey chronicles at many places. What interested me most was the key teaching of the movie. In the old movie, Ben Parker say to his nephew - "With great power, comes great responsibility." This statement very much defines Spiderman and his work as a superhero in the rest of the series. In The Amazing Spiderman, the teaching is similar in spirit but is worded differently. Uncle Ben says - "If you can do someone some good, you should do it. Because if you can, then it is no more a choice. It becomes a responsibility." It is not worded as poetically as the older version and yet, this wording hit me with a greater impact. I liked it a lot. What a nice thought, I said to myself. How simple a formula for being a good person! Yet in no way an easy task. It basically tells you to do all the good you can to this world.

I was also struck by the similarity of this thought with Asimov's First Law of Robotics: "A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm." Asimov himself suggested that these laws of robotics are in fact the laws of ideal human behavior. An ideal human would follow this law. He will never let any harm come to another human being, even through inaction. The inaction part is crucial. That is where most of us decent folks fail. As my Dad says, most people pass by a road-side aciident in their cars without stopping and only after going a distance, think back - maybe I should have stopped, maybe I could have helped the poor man. But by then its too late and they just whizz past in thier automobile. But the ones which stop, and that too in time, reflect a hope for our society, and show their realization of their responsibilities and are the men and women who make the difference.

-TheDreamer

THE ARCHIE DILEMMA

I saw Cocktail today with my family. First things first, to quench your curiosity, let me tell you that it is an entertaining movie made for college crowds and not bad for a one-time watch. The problem is its plot is way too familiar for regular Hindi movie and television serial watchers. It presents the same old Archie's Dilemma- a guy confused between the 'rich bitch' and the sweet girl, leading to a predictable love triangle with no new solution presented in the movie. This same predicament is represented in many other popular stories in different forms, be it Archie Andrews or Elena Gilbert. It is a classic dilemma- the dilemma between listening to what you desire and what is best for you. Do you choose the girl who is a better girlfriend or the one who will be a better wife? Do you listen to your heart or your mind? Do you go after what you like or after what is best for you? To you take up a profession which you are passionate about or a profession which will pay better?

The solution to this dilemma isn't very simple (that's why its called a dilemma) and is very much situation and person dependent. A pragmatist would preach that what is required is a balance between the two- between the Veronicas and Bettys of this world. Marry a girl that is rich and intelligent as well as beautiful and caring. Get a job that is your passion as well as high-paying. Interestingly, a Zen master would give you a different solution. He would ask you to remove the root cause of the dilemma. He'll tell you that your desires and your interests should not conflict at all to begin with. He'll say, remove thy conflict and thy dilemma shall vanish.

What do you usually do? Do you listen to your heart or my mind? Which is the fun thing to do? Which is the right thing to follow? Archie Dilemmas are common, we experience them everywhere. Our everyday problems are Archie Dilemmas in disguise and we need to solve them. So, do we listen to the pragmatist or the Zen master? Settle for a compromise between the two extremes or remove the conflict which made you like two extremes in the first place? That, my friends, is a question that  only you can answer for yourselves because, as always, we have landed ourselves into an Archie Dilemma.

-TheDreamer

(A small request: I would be much obliged to whoever posts a comment on this blog to plz copy the same comment in my personal blog too - http://vaibhavkarve.blogspot.in/ . Hope it won't deter anyone from commenting!)

The Two Pieces of Rose..

So I write to you.

With two pieces of roses,

And so the humming bees

Defer at all with my phrases…

So long the sun has shone,

With broken twigs alive all along,

The lies of ancient war rages

What lies in me, what lies in you.

So you defer to what I say,

We long parted our thoughts do sway,

“Like a bridge over all the thorns..”

You promised me all along.

With long lost, the other piece of rose,

The life i had, but the life you chose..

So i write to you,

with eyes so  red, and heart so true,

The wind speaks, but why don’t you?

We were one, as you did say,

And the shores fell all silent..

“like a bridge over all the thorns..”

You promised me all along..

And so I write to you,

With two pieces of roses,

The humming bees defer

At all with my phrases.

The Viento